caught

buried fear
sits rotting
endeavors to dig
to intellectualize
what is lost and obsolete
hopes to regain hope
fears to salvage fear

afraid to embrace
time gone awry
genetic muse
stranger in the evening light

before.
it went
tucked neatly back
into the drawer

now
surfacing of the jean
breaks levees
and much more
agonizing pain
manipulated protection
tantalizing pleasure

self induced
savored
till pathways
bloom
and choice insist
on what is foreign
full of bliss
and sorrow

to wonder
to wander
not to know
what is known