estranged and delusional

Nauseous
Disillusioned

Self inflicted hurt.
Lost
And crying

Letters
Refuge
Love
Life

Am I innocent?
Am I deceitful?

Self inflicted hurt.
Lost
And crying

betting emotion
Truth
Alone without an end

Not fire but peaceful waters
Flowing unexpectedly
With no end light in sight

Self inflicted hurt.
Lost
And crying

Describe it.
Know it.
Impossible
preposterous

Hoping against false hopes
betting against bad bets
fighting against preemptive rivals
That who I am
The definition of my soul
My womb
The blood that rushes through my existence
not of hate
not of wrong
but of honest meaning

self inflicted hurt.
lost
and crying

where did I leave my being
who lives in my body
and from where did they arrive?

leave me self inflicted with hurt,
lost,
and crying.